Britt's Bits: Archive

Mar 19th

Nana's too cold to go outside

My mom asked my grandma if she wanted anything from the store and she responded with this list via email, copied verbatim: Hi Honey: Grocery list tube of fixodent (Probably in the tooth dept. Polident tylenol string to tie the chair covers on the porch milk cookies small coffee nestles chocolate Thank you Mom Love you

Nov 5th

Sep 27th

“Decreased ability to concentrate and slowness in mental function occur particularly in higher functioning individuals.” #explainseverything

Sep 4th

Aug 30th

We made it through our first day together. http://twitgoo.com/2l51fd

Jul 29th

Some days you wake up knowing you’re about to get shit on.

Jul 23rd

1 note

Stealing a drunk friend’s Mercedes and saving him from a parking ticket entitles me to use it the next day to run errands, ya?

Jul 4th

Hanging out with moms can be fun

A: you would not believe how much milk I produced when my baby was first born.

Me: hey, I'd take it! I'm pretty poor and organic milk is expensive!

Jun 24th

Now looking at 10 total hours of travel time. Time to get drunk and write things on the internet.

Jun 22nd

Jun 19th

Jun 18th

6 tags

Moon Block Party/DBA, The Saga: Part 2

Not caught up? Check out Part 1 here. DBA was packed. Like push your way through the door, 6 people deep at the bar kind of packed. BBB and I finally found our way to the front and after about 20 minutes finally, FINALLY got a beer. Alright, maybe it wasn’t 20, I had no concept of time at that point. But it sure was a loooong ass time. Glasses weren’t washed, single orders were being...

Jun 16th

9 notes

Jun 16th

4 tags

Moon Block Party/DBA, The Saga: Part 1

Last Saturday marked the first annual Moon Block party - an arts and music festival in the Pomona Arts Colony - organized by the equally talented and hairy Phil Pironne of Jeffertitti’s Nile, a psychedelic acid stew of a band that makes you want to dance in a meadow and do some very bad things. The event was a total success, no doubt. Feel good, hippie vibes all around. I cabbed it over...

Jun 16th

1 note

3 tags

Jun 16th

2 notes

Jun 16th

4 tags

Screw You, Lee Odell

I knew we would be friends the moment I met you and now you just up and left the hot tub with ABSOLUTELY NO NOTICE! You made me cry in front of customers (and a little bit right now just thinking about it). Whatever, your texts took much too long to open up for us to keep in proper touch anyway. Do you actually think you can escape your suit wearing, brief case touting fate just...

Jun 16th

1 note

3 tags

You're Killing Me, Kaiser

Normally after a Kaiser appointment I leave seething for some reason or another: not being able to get an appointment when I’m desperate with a fever, appointments running over an hour late, doctors not properly checking out my ish, etc. etc. aaaaand etc. To say that I have contempt for that company is an understatement but I was denied by a couple other providers, they’re the...

Jun 15th

2 notes

Jun 14th

Jun 13th

everyone should stay the frack away from me right...

I woke up today feeling so despondent. Inexplicably and untouchably despondent. It started with some very stressful dreams and then completely set in by the time my feet hit the floor. I don’t care about anything. Smiling? How does one do that again? I don’t feel like eating but I have a general feeling of being unsatiated – like I should pillage my kitchen and consume everything in sight....

Jun 11th

Jun 8th

6 tags

Accidentally Intoxicated

They always start out innocently enough, the times I accidentally get drunk. At some point in the process a decision is made, yes, but I always start out with the best intentions. It usually happens at times when I’m really not supposed to get drunk. At least not thaaaat drunk. Like in front of Nana at my cousin’s wedding. Or a day and a half before I run a really big race. And always, always...

Jun 7th