Not caught up? Check out Part 1 here.

DBA was packed. Like push your way through the door, 6 people deep at the bar kind of packed. BBB and I finally found our way to the front and after about 20 minutes finally, FINALLY got a beer. Alright, maybe it wasn’t 20, I had no concept of time at that point. But it sure was a loooong ass time. Glasses weren’t washed, single orders were being taken, inefficiency out the ass. 

At this point, my memory of the sequence of events gets a little fuzzy. However, I’ve heard the story told enough times while sober to get it right. BBB went to the bathroom and this is more or less the gist of what happened:

The line for the men’s room was long and apparently the urinal was backed up and there was piss all over the floor as a result. So, BBB used the toilet, naturally. Some other dude used the urinal. Why would he use a backed up urinal? Not our problem. It was at this point the person we thought was the owner (post-mortem googling tells me he was just a bartender) busts through the door MIDSTREAM and says something like:

“HEY MOTHER FUCKERS, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING? CAN’T YOU SEE THE URINAL’S CLOGGED? YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR MY BAR!”

Like, no shit dude, there’s piss all over the floor. How could they miss it?

At this point, BBB says something about not being the one using the broken urinal, why doesn’t the dude just calm down, that’s not a nice way to treat the customers, etc. and then leaves the restroom. But then….he got pissed. Opening the door as the bartender was slopping up the pee, he says something to the effect of:

“Hey dude, I’ve spent a lot of money in your bar already tonight and your attitude toward me was totally disrespectful. I wasn’t using the urinal. That’s really bad customer service, etc, etc.”

To which the bartender replies:

“OH YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER? GET THE FUCK OUT!”

Yowza. 

So BBB finds me and explains the story. Now, normally I’m not one to promote further confrontation but BBB was clearly upset so I shrugged, rolled with it and encouraged him to speak his piece. Done cleaning up the slop, we found the bartender back at the bar at which point the tension got a little…elevated.

I faded in and out of attention to the confrontation but caught a few snippets.

If I’m getting kicked out I want my money back!

Like hell [or something]

You’re running a shitty business, that’s absolutely no way to speak to a paying customer [wild gesticulations]

[more arguing]

Get the fuck out

Do you want to take this outside?

Are you threatening me?

No, but if you want me to leave why don’t you escort me outside? 

[at some point there was a body check on behalf of the bartender]

I’m calling the cops! [dialing]

Oops, too far! Taking a cue from the observer perched on a chair watching the scene who said to me, “dude, you’ll never beat the bartender” I got us the frack out of there. We waited outside for a bit for the cops to show up. I think because we felt we were in the right and we wouldn’t get in trouble because of that? Not sure. Also probably not a good idea but all’s well that ends well. What we should have done was call the cops and reported the unsanitary conditions inside and had them closed down for the night. But these clever ideas only come in the sober light of day, unfortunately. 

We cruised over to the Glass House Bar and found some immediate libations, good vibes and sympathetic ears to our plight. Seems everyone we talked to had had a negative experience at DBA. 

Look, five days after this saga all went down, my perception of the issue has definitely cooled. The dude was pissed about the piss and had a full bar to attend to. I get that. But never, EVER would I have it in me to talk to a customer that way. EVER. So, I’m not going to go back and I would discourage others to do the same. If for no other reason that that they are overpriced, have shotty server knowledge, and there’s a cool ass bar not two blocks away.