Not caught up? Check out Part 1 here.

DBA was packed. Like push your way through the door, 6 people deep at the bar kind of packed. BBB and I finally found our way to the front and after about 20 minutes finally, FINALLY got a beer. Alright, maybe it wasn’t 20, I had no concept of time at that point. But it sure was a loooong ass time. Glasses weren’t washed, single orders were being taken, inefficiency out the ass. 

At this point, my memory of the sequence of events gets a little fuzzy. However, I’ve heard the story told enough times while sober to get it right. BBB went to the bathroom and this is more or less the gist of what happened:

The line for the men’s room was long and apparently the urinal was backed up and there was piss all over the floor as a result. So, BBB used the toilet, naturally. Some other dude used the urinal. Why would he use a backed up urinal? Not our problem. It was at this point the person we thought was the owner (post-mortem googling tells me he was just a bartender) busts through the door MIDSTREAM and says something like:

“HEY MOTHER FUCKERS, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING? CAN’T YOU SEE THE URINAL’S CLOGGED? YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR MY BAR!”

Like, no shit dude, there’s piss all over the floor. How could they miss it?

At this point, BBB says something about not being the one using the broken urinal, why doesn’t the dude just calm down, that’s not a nice way to treat the customers, etc. and then leaves the restroom. But then….he got pissed. Opening the door as the bartender was slopping up the pee, he says something to the effect of:

“Hey dude, I’ve spent a lot of money in your bar already tonight and your attitude toward me was totally disrespectful. I wasn’t using the urinal. That’s really bad customer service, etc, etc.”

To which the bartender replies:

“OH YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER? GET THE FUCK OUT!”

Yowza. 

So BBB finds me and explains the story. Now, normally I’m not one to promote further confrontation but BBB was clearly upset so I shrugged, rolled with it and encouraged him to speak his piece. Done cleaning up the slop, we found the bartender back at the bar at which point the tension got a little…elevated.

I faded in and out of attention to the confrontation but caught a few snippets.

If I’m getting kicked out I want my money back!

Like hell [or something]

You’re running a shitty business, that’s absolutely no way to speak to a paying customer [wild gesticulations]

[more arguing]

Get the fuck out

Do you want to take this outside?

Are you threatening me?

No, but if you want me to leave why don’t you escort me outside? 

[at some point there was a body check on behalf of the bartender]

I’m calling the cops! [dialing]

Oops, too far! Taking a cue from the observer perched on a chair watching the scene who said to me, “dude, you’ll never beat the bartender” I got us the frack out of there. We waited outside for a bit for the cops to show up. I think because we felt we were in the right and we wouldn’t get in trouble because of that? Not sure. Also probably not a good idea but all’s well that ends well. What we should have done was call the cops and reported the unsanitary conditions inside and had them closed down for the night. But these clever ideas only come in the sober light of day, unfortunately. 

We cruised over to the Glass House Bar and found some immediate libations, good vibes and sympathetic ears to our plight. Seems everyone we talked to had had a negative experience at DBA. 

Look, five days after this saga all went down, my perception of the issue has definitely cooled. The dude was pissed about the piss and had a full bar to attend to. I get that. But never, EVER would I have it in me to talk to a customer that way. EVER. So, I’m not going to go back and I would discourage others to do the same. If for no other reason that that they are overpriced, have shotty server knowledge, and there’s a cool ass bar not two blocks away. 

Last Saturday marked the first annual Moon Block party - an arts and music festival in the Pomona Arts Colony - organized by the equally talented and hairy Phil Pironne of Jeffertitti’s Nile, a psychedelic acid stew of a band that makes you want to dance in a meadow and do some very bad things. The event was a total success, no doubt. Feel good, hippie vibes all around.

I cabbed it over with my friend, let’s call him Big Balls Billy (BBB - not sexual, trust) as neither of us should be responsible for curtailing the fun (aka booze consumption) when live music is involved. We scoped the scene and then headed over to the wine bar, DBA256 for some beers while things were picking up. 

DBA has always been a chill scene for me as I usually run into some Claremont peeps there during the art walks. Not today, folks! The evening started off innocently enough - there was some awkwardness in the service that was easily overlooked at the time given our simple, yet immediate goal of getting drunk. Things took a turn later but this is more or less how they began:

Me: How’s that [insert name of “Belgian Style Beer” I can’t remember]?

Bartender: ….Hey [other bartender] how’s that [beer I can’t remember]?

Other Bartender: It’s good. It’s a lighter Belgian style beer. 

Me: Ok, fine let’s do it.

I’m thinking, no shit, it’s listed in the “Belgian Style” category on the menu. But whatevs. No need to get critical right out of the gate. I have my beer, I’m happy. Then this:

BBB: How’s that [insert name of “Belgian Style Beer” I can’t remember]?

Bartender:…Hey [other bartender] how’s that [beer I can’t remember]?

Other Bartender: It’s good. It’s a Belgian style beer. 

And then she went on to describe it in terms of sweetness compared to two other beers. Sweetness?? So, ok. I want to say this without sounding like I’m on a high horse because I knowwww I’m not perfect and I definitely do a lot of bull shitting when I’m on the job but here it is: YOU NEED TO KNOW YOUR BEERS AND WINES, PEOPLE. Especially, ESPECIALLY, when you tout on your website to have “One of the largest Wine and Beer selections in Southern California.” WHICH THEY DON’T. The second bar tender was sampling the beers from the tap and claimed that BBB’s beer was her absolute favorite. If you’re tasting that much, you should know how to describe the beer. Simple! These were $8 beers! We’re not messing around. 

Side note about their wines: I recognized a few of their wines by the glass, one of which was a $9 glass of Stella Rosa, a sweet red wine to be served chilled that goes for $8.95 FOR THE BOTTLE from the winery. $9 glass vs $8.95 bottle. I don’t think I need to drive my point home any further. 

Anyhoo, our beers were good. They even looked the other way as we poured our second round into some cups on the counter and took them to go. We couldn’t be happier at that point. Red cups in hand, we set out on a quest for some cigs for BBB and some tall cans for the both of us. A couple blocks later we were dodging hookers and homeless people and found what we were looking for. 

We hustled back to the block party as the sun set and before we got robbed and shanked, drinking our beers on the street the whole way. My, how good it feels to do illegal things! Back at the block we ran into some of BBB’s friends and grabbed some food at Alladin Jr. I desperately needed some pita to soak up the booze sloshing around in my empty stomach (it ended up being a little too late for that [sheepish shoulder shrug]).

After dinner we made it back to the block in time to run into some Claremont peeps and see Jeffertitti’s Nile and they rocked, as usual. I was a bit disappointed with the sound quality but I know they were battling some unusual conditions and I really know nothing about these things or what caused it. I just grooved in my own little drunken world anyway. After the show we all cruised back to DBA. 

Whoops! That was our first mistake. And the start of a string of drunken, convoluted, misspelled, tweets on my part that I really have no desire to read. 

Check out part 2 for the rest of our plight.